Dating can sometimes feel like a chore, or even a job, especially if you are not meeting the right type of people. In such cases, its easy to find yourself simply “going through the motions” on your date.
But here’s the problem: not being engaged and focused on your date means you might miss your ‘perfect match’ sitting right in front of you! If that’s not enough incentive, here’s 5 more reasons to pay attention to your date:
- Beware ‘the viscious cycle’: not paying attention to your date greatly increases the chances of an unsuccessful date; this will lead you to feel even more discouraged by dating; which will likely make the next date even worse; and so on, and so on. You can stop this cycle by having one good date… focus on that one date and you’ll find your dating prospects looking brighter.
- What goes around comes around: if you are engaged and focused on your date, and doing all that you can to ensure they are having a good time; the chances are they will return the favor and you’ll have a good time too. The reverse is also true; if you are not into them they will most likely reciprocate making for an uncomfortable time all around.
- Beyond physical chemistry: although you can tell right away whether you are attracted to someone physically, you can’t really tell if they are a good match for you until you get to know them on the inside too. Avoid shortcuts here: good conversation and spending quality time together (ie. more than just one date) is the best and only way to tell if you truly ‘click’ with someone.
- The friends outcome: not every date will be your perfect match, but that’s not to say you can’t meet someone who becomes a good friend and/or contact. Vancouver’s not the easiest city to meet new people, so look at dating as another way to meet some new social partners as well… by paying attention to your date, you are showing respect for them which is the foundation of a relationship or friendship of any kind.
- Your date as your matchmaker: even if you don’t feel a spark with your date, you never know, they may know someone who is perfect for you! Again, by being focused on your date and ensuring they (and you) are having a good time, they will be much more likely to speak of you positively to their hot friends even if it doesn’t work out between the two of you.
Part of what makes Executive Search Dating uniquely successful is that we find high quality, compatible matches for our clients AND we also plan their dates and handle all of the arrangements.
So after 8 years and many thousands of successful dates arranged, what have we learned about planning a great date? Allow us to present Executive Search Dating’s ‘Matchmakers Dating Guidebook’ – follow these basic principles and watch your dating success rate sky-rocket!:
- Keep it casual, but not too casual: when meeting someone for the first or second time, aim to keep it casual – avoid overly fancy/expensive restaurants – but also avoid the overly casual – a Starbucks coffee shop – you want to keep it light but also be in a setting that’s suitable for a date.
- Avoid lunch dates during the week: in spite of what you may have heard, lunch dates during the week are NOT a good option for many single professionals. Its often hard to focus on the date when you have pressing work matters on your mind. Read on for some better options…
- After work drinks: probably the best bet for a weekday date, an after work drink strikes the perfect balance between informal but classy. Plus you get to see your date somewhat dressed up.
- Weekend brunches: also very popular amongst our clients, particularly those who are very busy during the week. The advantage of a weekend brunch date is that both parties will be fully relaxed and in ‘weekend mode’.
- Don’t do dinner: avoid booking and/or planning for a full dinner at an expensive restaurant; you can always move to this option if the date is going well but you don’t want to lock both of you into a long and expensive night if you find you don’t have much in common or no spark. Save the dinner date for a second or, even better, a third date.
- Location matters: picking the right dating venue is an often overlooked, but quite important, part of dating. Read on for more specifics…
- Avoid the ‘deserted dating spot’: showing up at a date venue that has no-one in it can be a turn-off, particularly if its a first date. Women can be particularly bothered by meeting someone new at an empty place.
- Avoid the ‘over-crowded dating spot’: on the other hand, picking a busy bar or restaurant at peak hours where there are no chairs or even bar space to spare is not ideal either. On a first or second date, you also don’t want the feeling of having dozens of people pushing up against you and listening in to your first date banter.
- Be early, especially if you made the booking: if its a spot that you’ve suggested, its appropriate to arrive a bit early to ensure your reservations have been made, or to give you a few minutes to find a nice table for your date. Showing up at a place you’ve never been to and arriving before your date can be a bad start to a date that you might not be able to overcome.
- Be flexible: its appropriate and even advisable to suggest a few date venues that you feel are convenient and suitable, but always ask your date if they have any better suggestions; for men in particular, go with your female date partner’s suggested venue if they feel strongly about it. There will be plenty of time to pick your favorite date venue for a second or third date once you get there.