Monthly Archives: April 2015

7 Signs You Can Stop Dating

Who wants to date forever? Answer: virtually no-one.

Dating can and should be fun. And its an essential part of finding your special someone, and fine tuning what you’re really looking for in someone. But the central purpose of dating is to meet that one person you truly connect with.

If you’re dating with the sole purpose of going on more and more dates, you’ll find dating will become less fun, and much less effective.

But how do you know when you’ve met ‘the one’, and can stop dating and focus on them alone? Here are the signs:

  1. Fascination street:  do you find someone so intriguing that you’re already making a list of things to talk about when you see them next? If so, prioritize them above others.
  2. Off your chest:  if you’re excited to tell someone about your day/week/inner thoughts and fears, its a sign that they’re not ‘just another date’.
  3. Missing person:  do you find yourself thinking about someone even when you’re on a date with someone else? Note to self – stop dating and call that person. Fast.
  4. Blandness:  if you’re finding that all the people you’re meeting seem the same, no matter how great they appear on the outside, it’s a sign that you’re looking for a deeper connection beyond just looks and initial chemistry.
  5. Talk for hours:  the desire and ability to have long, interesting conversations with someone about a wide variety of topics, even after seeing each other a number of times, is a great sign. Whereas initial physical chemistry becomes less important as time goes on, your ability to connect with someone at a deeper level becomes more important.
  6. Make it stop:  if you’re having to fight the urge to cancel dates last minute because you can’t bear the thought of another first date, then stop dating. If there’s someone you’ve connected with, great. If not, you should still take a break.
  7. When in doubt:  if after all of the above, you’re still not sure if someone is ‘the one’, it’s worthwhile putting a temporary pause on dating new people and see that one person a few more times. Consider it a wise investment in your future happiness.

Truth And Lies In Dating

Dating is like a good book – without a good beginning you may never make it to the end. No you should never lie, but you also don’t have to tell ‘the whole story’ on a first date.

The key to successful dating – and to finding your special someone – is striking the right balance on a first date: telling each other about yourselves without getting into too many ‘complicated’ details.

Here’s the list of things you should and shouldn’t reveal on a first date:

  • SHOULD:  what you feel passionate about.
  • SHOULDN’T:  what you really dislike.
  • SHOULD:  what are some activities you enjoy doing, and doing together with someone.
  • SHOULDN’T:  why you broke up with your Ex, or past relationships in general.
  • SHOULD:  what subjects you enjoy talking about and why.
  • SHOULDN’T:  things that annoy you about people.
  • SHOULD:  what you do for a living and why you got into that line of work.
  • SHOULDN’T:  why you hate your job.
  • SHOULD:  what qualities you admire or enjoy in people.
  • SHOULDN’T:  whether you want a family and/or how many kids you’d like to have.

The Unseen Dangers Of Online Dating

Online dating has become an acceptable way to meet someone new, but is it safe and does it work?

The answer: it depends.

The key things to understand about internet dating are what the online dating companies WON’T tell you. Here’s the list:

  • No screening:  in spite of what their ads may say, online dating companies don’t screen your matches.
    • What this means for you:  as you’ll be screening your matches yourself, set up your initial meeting in a public place during ‘normal’ hours. Avoid meeting late at night or in an area you’re not familiar with.
  • Not all profiles are active:  once your profile is online, it’ll likely be sent to other users whether you’re actively dating or not, even if you’re no longer with that online dating service.
    • What this means for you:  if you’ve decided to take a break from online dating, or quit the service entirely, be sure to delete your profile. As online dating companies make this hard to do, you’ll likely have to read the fine print to figure out how to do this. In the mean time, delete all your photos from your online profile as a first step.
  • Not all profiles are accurate:  online dating companies do not review profiles to ensure accuracy. All the information provided is from the user themselves, including age, height, photos, etc.
    • What this means for you:  be aware that not all people you meet will look like their photos. Avoid long email exchanges and arrange to meet someone at some point (or speak to them on the phone).
  • You can’t tell if you have ‘chemistry’ with someone based only on their online profile:  as photos and profiles don’t always do someone justice (and may not be entirely accurate), you need to meet someone in person to know if you have chemistry.
    • What this means for you:  Avoid long email exchanges and arrange to meet someone in person, using suitable safety precautions (see point #1 above).

27 Scientifically Proven Dating Conversation Tips

It’s a problem as old as dating itself: what to talk about on a date? Should you be serious or funny? Sarcastic or sincere? Heavy or light?

The correct answer, in most every case, is to be yourself. But if that seems hard at first, here are 27 scientifically proven dating conversation starters to get things rolling (Source: Dr. Arthur Aron, State University of New York):

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

8. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

9. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

10. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

11. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

12. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

13. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

14. What do you value most in a friendship?

15. What is your most treasured memory?

16. What is your most terrible memory?

17. What does friendship mean to you?

18. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

19. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

20. Complete this sentence:”I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

21. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

22. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

23. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

24. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

25. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

26. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

27. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?