Everyone wants to fall in Love. But what to do if you’re tired of waiting for your Prince or Princess Charming to sweep you off your feet?

A common misconception among singles is that Love simply ‘happens’, like a bolt out of the blue. You simply wait for the right person to come along then – ‘bang!’, chemistry happens and you live happily ever after.

The truth is that you can INCREASE your chances of having someone fall in Love with you – here’s how, in 6 easy steps (Source: Harvard University):

1. The eyes have it:  maintaining eye contact with someone 75% of the time is a sure sign of Love. If you’re glancing around the room and checking out others, you’ll soon watch your romantic evening fizzle.
2. I’m listening:  being a good listener is the key to any good social interaction, and particularly if you’re with someone you care about. Practice ‘active listening’, ask follow up questions and take a genuine interest in what your partner’s saying. If you don’t find them interesting, it might be time for you (and them) to reconsider things.
3. How you make me feel:  making your partner feel special and appreciated is an essential element of a strong Love connection. If spending time with you makes your partner feel like a winner, you’ll likely be spending a lot more time with them in the days and years to come.
4. A simple smile:  the most simple of all gestures – a smile – sends a message of confidence, success, interest and positive charm. Here’s a test: when you’re dreaming of your perfect match, I’ll bet you’re both smiling? Lose the frown and you’ll soon lose your single life too.
5. The touch that says so much:  in Love, words can only get you so far. Touching your partner often increases intimacy and, more than words, shows them exactly how you feel about them.
6. Make an effort:  taking an active interest in your partner’s passions builds trust, and validates that person’s feelings about you. In other words: sharing a passion builds passion.

In the world of dating, you’ll get EXACTLY what you put into it. In other words”: ‘good’ dating skills will lead you to success, and ‘bad’ dating skills will lead you to failure.

If you’re looking to meet your special someone, avoid these 5 chemistry killing dating habits:

1. Not into it:  giving your date the impression that you’re not interested from the outset will likely end a date before it even begins. Even if you’re not feeling chemistry at first – remember that true connections happen over time, and are rarely built only on initial physical chemistry. Make an effort & be engaged, who knows – you may end up with a friendship out of it, or more!
2. My time is more valuable than yours:  constantly re-scheduling or changing the date arrangements last minute sends the signal that you don’t respect your date’s time. You may think this shows how interesting and full your life is, in fact it sends the message that you’re not worth investing time in.
3. The stories I could tell:  talking about your online dating & Tinder ‘horror’ stories on a date may seem like a good idea at the time. But it won’t take long before your date calls for the bill – to avoid being featured in your future dating stories.
4. All about me:  there’s nothing more annoying than spending an evening with someone who won’t let you get a word in edgewise. Be self-aware and aim to spend roughly equal times talking and listening on your date.
5. Checklist dating:  if your date feels like an interview, its a good sign that its not going well. Avoid asking too many ‘checklist’ questions on a first date (what are your relationship goals? Do you want a family? How long have you been single?, etc.), and put more focus on making the date a fun and enjoyable experience for both of you. There’ll be plenty of time for more serious questions once you’ve made it successfully through a first or second date.

Do you ever wonder what dating was like “back in the old days”? Was it easier & better, or harder & worse? The answer: all of the above.

Dating in Vancouver has always been challenging, particularly if you’re seriously looking for a RELATIONSHIP partner, not a casual hookup. The challenges facing today’s singles, however, are quite different than the challenges of dating eras past… here’s why, and what it means for you:

Dating Challenge Past:  it was harder for busy singles to meet anyone new, particularly if you weren’t interested in meeting people in bars. This was before the era of online dating, Smart-phone apps and modern ‘professional’ matchmaking services in Vancouver.

• The Good:  because it was harder to meet someone new, singles tended to take dating more seriously and were likely to give someone new another chance, even if the first date didn’t go well.
• The Bad:  because of the lack of good dating options, it was simply more difficult to meet someone compatible. For those with a large and active social network in the city it wasn’t so bad, but for those singles & professionals who were busy or new to the city, it was tough meeting someone new.

Dating Challenge Present:  with the advent of online dating & Smart-phone app dating, many singles are going on far more dates today than the average single in Vancouver 20 years ago. Today’s challenge is sorting through all the online or Tinder profiles and finding someone who’s serious, honest and looking for a relationship.

• The Good:  in spite of the drawbacks of online dating (no screening, misrepresentation, safety, etc.), it’s still a better scenario than 20 years ago. Having more (or at least some) dates definitely beats having no dates at all!
• The Bad:  the primary challenge in today’s dating world comes if you’re seriously looking for a relationship partner. Although free online dating sites like Plenty of Fish and Tinder are great for more ‘casual’ dating (read: hookups), they’re not suitable for finding relationship partners – particularly if you’re a busy single or professional who doesn’t want to go on endless (bad) dates.

What this means for you:  if you’re not looking for anything too serious, then by all means try the free online dating sites or Tinder (using suitable safety precautions as detailed in our previous newsletters).  If, on the other hand, you’re looking for a relationship – avoid the ‘free’ services and try the paid online dating sites, or a personalized matchmaking service such as Executive Search Dating. Like many things in life, you get what you pay for.