Dating is the best way to find your special someone. But when do you switch off your “dating mode” and turn on your “relationship mode”? And why?
The answer: because perfecting your “dating skills” will lead you to a life of endless dating & singledom. In particular, beware that classic dating tip “dating is a numbers game.” It just might lead you to dating despair. Here’s 3 reasons why:
- Elusive perfection: it’s normal to think that Mr. or Ms. Perfect is out there waiting for you. Any they probably are. But that perfect person may not necessarily look or sound exactly as you imagined them. The only way you’ll know is to spend quality time getting to know them, and that’s hard when you’re forever focused on the next match.
- Your Love life, in focus: when you’re forever looking for the next, better match, it’s almost impossible to focus on the person you’ve just met. And, the match you haven’t met yet (particularly on Tinder or online) will almost certainly seem more appealing. Until you meet them, that is. Put down your smartphone, turn off your computer and focus on connecting with that person right in front of you. There’s no app for that.
- The world’s most beautiful number: no matter how many dates you go on, you’re really just looking for one special person. Once you’ve met someone you’ve connected with, stop dating and focus on them. Re-directing your dating energy towards one person will lead to more happiness than 10 dates ever will.
A lot has been made of a recent survey that said Vancouver women are the ‘Pickiest’ daters in Canada. Which leads us to the following questions:
- What do Vancouver women really want?
- Are they REALLY being too picky?
- Do Vancouver men make the grade?
The answers may surprise you:
- Normal is the “New Normal”: in the world of dating, ‘normal’ isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, having a decent job, being kind and nice to others, and being interested and interesting are all ‘normal’ qualities that Vancouver women and men value.
- Having your life together: in spite of what you’ve heard, its rare that Vancouver women judge someone based solely on their income level. But meeting someone that is in control of their personal financial situation is (and should be) an important quality when deciding on a long term relationship partner. Particularly if you might want to have a family some day. If your own finances aren’t in order, spend more time tying to get them in order, and less time complaining about how you are being judged for it.
- Be a ‘Take Charge’ man: in today’s world, men and women are equals, and that’s a good thing. But when it comes to dating, particularly meeting someone new, most women still expect the man to make the first step. Note to men: ‘you may not like this fact, but consider the alternative – if women were expected to make the first move, and men had to sit back and wait to be chosen, do you really think that would make your dating life better?’
- Be ‘Relationship Potential’: making an effort to look your best and be an interesting conversationalist will definitely not hurt your dating life, and will almost certainly help it. But for high quality, ‘relationship minded’ women, showing that you are also relationship minded is even more important. Focus on your date and what she has to say. Avoid checking out the wait staff or constantly checking your phone for messages, and forever changing plans last minute.
- One person’s ‘picky’ is another person’s ‘selective’: dating (particularly in the online dating world) can sometimes feel like a pure numbers game. When there’s a lack of screening or honesty, dating can indeed begin to feel like a chore. Our advice: be open minded, but ultimately do be selective. You will get better results from dating one or two compatible matches a month rather than five non-compatible matches. If you’re too busy to find compatible matches yourself, call a professional matchmaking service such as Executive Search Dating (604-462-8743)!
Success in life & love isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t have to be hard either. Stop trying to be all things to all people, and focus instead on the qualities that make YOU different and unique.
In addition to making your Love life better, you’ll have more fun doing it as well.
But how do you uncover your BEST dating & relationship qualities? Start with these 4 simple steps:
- Go with what’s worked: being self-aware is a first and essential step to future dating & relationship success. Step 1 – reflect on those times when you’ve had success (a great date, a fulfilling relationship, an awesome weekend with someone special, etc.), and identify what you did that made it successful. Step 2 – repeat.
- Change it up: on the other side, reflect on those occasions where things haven’t gone well, and identify why things went wrong. Were you in a bad mood? Were you not fully engaged in the moment? Were you not making an effort? Successful relationships don’t come naturally, they come to those that are committed to making them work. Sometimes, that means changing you too.
- Watch for signs of excitement: sometimes the best bet is not to overthink it – listen to your body and your mind. When you’re engaging with someone or doing something that you’re really good at, you’ll likely feel a rush of excitement. This energy can make an ordinary moment feel extraordinary – for you, and your partner.
- Communication: it’s been said ‘behind every people problem is a communication problem’, and this applies to dating & relationships too. Commit to continuously improving your communication skills, and your Love life will prosper too!
In the world of Vancouver dating, there is one question more intriguing than virtually any other: what do Vancouver men really want?
In fact, unlocking this riddle just may be the key to solving Vancouver’s ‘dating dilemma’ – and the answer may surprise you:
- Be together: no-one’s perfect, and men know that as much as anyone. But a woman who is in charge of her life and issues, and projects a positive attitude on life and love is a quality that’s particularly attractive to relationship-minded men.
- Be genuine: for some reason, Vancouver has the reputation as a city built on pretense. However, for men looking to find their special someone, nothing could be farther from the truth. Men (and women too) are attracted to someone who despite their flaws is generally open, down-to-earth and happy with who they are.
- Be interested: relationship minded men truly want to feel that a woman is having an enjoyable time on their date. When a woman seems distracted, aloof or simply not interested on a date, it can be a real turn off. Instead of increasing a man’s interest in the woman, it can lead to a short, boring and unsuccessful dating experience. Always remember, even if that particular man is not for you, he may know someone who is – so making a good impression is always the best policy.
- Be relationship potential: a woman who is fun and can have a good time in social settings is generally a positive for most men. But if you’re a woman looking for relationship-minded men, avoid partying and drinking to excess in a dating situation. Although that may be an attractive quality for someone just looking for a good time; it’s not necessarily what a man is looking for in a long term relationship partner.